For the umpteen-dozenth time, Congresscriminals have tried the TSA and found it absolutely, entirely guilty. And for the umpteen-dozenth time, nothing will change.

“In a Congressional committee Wednesday,” “three employees testified” that “The Transportation Security Administration (TSA) still suffers from mismanagement and a negative workplace culture, … [and] that unqualified and punitive administrators’ practices put travelers’ security at risk.” You might think that would persuade Our Rulers to abolish the TSA, but no.

Nevertheless, so long as you remember that these hearings are as big a sham as the TSA’s security-theater and that they accomplish zilch aside from confirming the State’s jaw-dropping evil, it’s always fun when Congress convenes yet another such shindig: the utterly incompetent, utterly mendacious TSA inevitably emerges looking worse than ever.

This time, the fur flew faster and more furiously than usual. Witnesses labelled their bosses at the TSA “the biggest bullies in government” and insisted “that poor leadership, a lack of oversight, low morale and widespread retaliation has led to a culture of fear at the beleaguered agency.” Yee-haw! “‘If you tell the truth in TSA you will be targeted,’ Mark Livingston, a program manager with the TSA’s office of risk management, [said].” Hmmm: if a passenger boards a plane, he will be targeted for all manner of humiliation and absurdity, so I deem this poetic justice.

But I interrupted Mark before his best line: “‘I call it the Lord of the Flies —either attack or be attacked.’”

See? I told you this would be fun! And that isn’t all: another “whistleblower” “compared the culture at TSA to the John Belushi classic ‘Animal House’ and the relationship between agency leadership and its front-line workers to HBO’s ‘Game of Thrones.’ ‘We elevate people in senior positions that do not have the experience or character [HA!!!] and ability [HA HA HA!!!!!] to lead and manage a large, complex [sic for ‘dysfunctional’—no, wait: make that ‘downright insane’] organization,’ [Andrew Rhoades, assistant federal security director in the Office of Security Operations] said.”

Oh, joy!!!! How heartening that all those gropers and perverts at the checkpoints, all those thieves stealing from passengers’ luggage, endure payback from their own kind! Indeed, the internal savagery is so bad that “more than 100 of the agency’s screeners quit their jobs weekly. ‘They really don’t like working there,’ [House Committee Chairman Rep. Jason Chaffetz (R) of Utah] said.” Here’s hoping each and every one screams from nightmares for a good long while. That crippled little boy who sobbed when a blue-shirted thug stole his teddy-bear? That honeymooning bride traumatized when a gate-rapist molested her? Please God, their tears and agonized faces will haunt the TSA’s vamoosing scum for years.

Meanwhile, after “Andrew Rhoades, assistant federal security director in the Office of Security Operations” had exhausted his pop-culture analogies for the debacle that is the TSA, he kindly exemplified for us everything wrong with the agency in general and “federal security directors” in particular.

Andy decided to blow the whistle not because the TSA’s deviants prey on passengers for sexual thrills, not because they routinely and totally violate the Fourth Amendment—but because they “racially profile.” Yes. If you can bear to do so, read Andy’s self-righteous account of this atrocity, even as gate-rape and theft flourished right under his nose: “’Not only does the TSA mistreat its employees, it alienates entire communities.” Correction, Andy: entire countries. Americans viscerally hate the agency. And the rest of the world laughs at it.

But back to His Smugness: “’On April 8, 2016, my supervisors asked me [to] profile Somali imams and other Somali community members. I refused.’ Rhoades said in his mid-year review his TSA supervisor gave him very specific instructions: ‘…that employee should check with the field intelligence officer on potential visitors to determine if we want them in our office space or meet elsewhere.’ Rhoades said it is not protocol to to [sic] vet visitors to the TSA administrative office against ‘TSA watchlists or with intelligence officers.’ Rhoades said he was asked to do this only for the Somali community without any evidence of a terror link. ‘It’s profiling,’ Rhoades said.”

Ol’ Andy’s up on “profilers’” lingo, too. Though it doesn’t bother him that the TSA euphemizes sexual assault as “a pat-down” and mass, warrantless searches as “hand-swabbing,” he objected when “his supervisor accused him of ‘going native’ after attending a meeting at a local mosque.” “’Going native…it’s a disgusting, bigoted term,’ Rhoades said.” Can’t you see this guy who doesn’t bat an eye when the TSA  paws little girls shuddering at a mere”term”?

The TSA yawns when we accuse it of sexual assault, but it comes out swinging at the word “profiling.” And so it huffed that it is “reviewing [Andy’s] complaint and will take appropriate action if there is evidence that any TSA officer acted inappropriately. … However, it would be unfair and irresponsible to infer or conclude that profiling is a common TSA practice based upon a single interaction between one employee and his supervisor.” Well, OK: how about a second set of “interactions”? And a third? Shall we go for broke with a fourth?

Let me also point out that what’s sauce for the goose suits the gander, too: the TSA has for 15 years unfairly and irresponsibly inferred or concluded that all passengers are potential terrorists, based upon a single incident—and one that was an inside job at that. So don’t you unspeakable slime dare lecture us about fairness and responsibility.

May God damn the TSA to hell forever.

The Best of Becky Akers