Can men give birth?  Do cow farts cause tornadoes?  Must “disinformation” tsars censor words to protect free speech?  Should Democrats jail opponents in order to save “democracy”?  If you listen to the propaganda press, these are some of the most important queries of our time.  It feels as if we’ve fallen down Lewis Carroll’s rabbit hole or entered the absurdist plot of a Tom Robbins or Kurt Vonnegut novel.  How can we make sense of our increasingly senseless world? Lab 257: The Disturbin... Carroll, Michael C. Best Price: $3.49 Buy New $8.59 (as of 03:25 UTC - Details)

America’s dean of word wizardry, Mark Twain, once quipped, “Truth is stranger than fiction, but it is because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibilities; Truth isn’t.”  Boy, was he right!  For years we’ve been bouncing around in a pinball universe designed by Orwell, Huxley, and Bradbury.  When the government isn’t policing our language or arresting little old grandmothers for engaging in wrongthink, it’s busy helping Mexican drug-smugglers hook Americans on Chinese fentanyl and encouraging young boys to chop off their willies.  The Gestapo FBI spends most of its time hunting patriots as “domestic terrorists” and orchestrating elaborate entrapment schemes to justify bloated budgets.  The Josef Mengeles at the CDC work to create new diseases that will require experimental “cures.”  The Department of (in)Justice can’t stop locking up Americans for their political beliefs while lecturing the country about the importance of thwarting tyranny.  So much insanity now grips the United States that the great dystopian novels of the last century appear downright tame by comparison!

The easiest way to navigate this Kafkaesque environment is to follow a simple rule: whatever the government says, believe the opposite.  Obama promised that socialized medicine would lower health care costs without benefiting illegal aliens; a decade and a half later, the only people who can afford Obamacare are the illegal aliens who get it for free!  Homeland (in)Security doofus Mayorkas still claims the U.S. border is secure, even as foreign terrorists and Chinese nationals flash middle fingers at television cameras documenting America’s invasion.  Joe Biden, Nancy Pelosi, and Chuck Schumer passed an “Inflation Reduction Act” that has done nothing but exacerbate inflation.  Obama doesn’t care; the border has disappeared; and rampant inflation is the goal!  When everything our political leaders say is a lie and every policy betrays its purpose, Americans live in a Bizarro World where words mean nothing.

At the same time, whomever the political Establishment admires most, regular people should admire least.  Mitt Romney, the morally sanctimonious charlatan with a squishy backbone, reacted to the Democrats’ successful conviction of President Trump for imaginary crimes in New York by calling it “political malpractice.”  By that, he meant that the lawfare prosecutions would likely boost Trump’s polling support.  You see, if putting Trump behind bars would effectively prevent his re-election in November, Romney would be all for it!  Pierre Delecto doesn’t mind that Democrats are abusing the criminal justice system to imprison Trump and his supporters; he just regrets that all these judicial exercises in election interference are failing.  Only in Bizarro World could a monumental fraud as repugnant as Romney have become the Republicans’ presidential nominee!

South Carolina Civilia... Karen Stokes Best Price: $11.50 Buy New $3.37 (as of 05:45 UTC - Details) With RINO cowards such as Romney always looking to shiv them in the back, Republican voters have been forced to remake the party into something that vaguely represents their interests.  “Shouldn’t the party have always represented their interests?” a reasonable person might ask.  Not in Bizarro World!  Here the Republican Party has long worked for a small number of financial heavyweights who believe that Republican voters exist to serve them.  The more salt-of-the-earth Republicans advance their own political objectives, the faster Romney-like RINOs denounce them as a “threat to democracy.”  In this dystopia, the best form of “democracy” is the one where an insular cabal of privileged and wealthy “elites” decide everything for everyone else.  Real self-government is entirely too insurrection-y.  News flash: Democrats and RINOs share the same beliefs!

How do we know?  Because Republican voters have spent decades demanding smaller government, less illegal immigration, balanced budgets, and renewed deference to constitutional constraints and the Bill of Rights.  Republican leaders have promised to get right on that — just as soon as they build the Department of Homeland Security, provide sixty million illegal aliens with amnesty, add trillions to the debt in war spending, and expand the PATRIOT Act so that the federal government can spy on every citizen of the United States!  Don’t worry, though.  Every Republican voter unhappy with the party will still receive a free t-shirt that says, “I’m with Karl Rove!”  It will most likely come from a Chinese merchant using a Vietnamese manufacturer, but the tri-blend fabric will feel super-soft!  Who needs to make things in America when we can all depend upon the benevolent generosity of Chinese communists?

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