In 2014, a leaked copy of the Directorate of Intelligence Style Manual & Writer’s Guide for Intelligence Publications found its way to the Internet. That long title belies what it actually is: A well-written style book for the CIA — the Strunk & White for Spies.
Inside the 181 pages (not including the index) is a terrific guide for normal folks, and not just government sleuths. It still offers some unique advice, however, and you won’t find some of these examples in your copy of the Oxford American Dictionary.
1. NO ONE IS EXCUSED FROM BAD GRAMMAR
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The CIA will call you out on your shaky grammar, even if you are a Founding Father. In the section covering absolutes, the style book correctly states, “The Preamble to the US Constitution is out of bounds grammatically when it speaks of a perfect Union, and, as the common saying puts it, a woman cannot be somewhat pregnant.”
2. YOU AREN’T ALLOWED TO WRITE LIKE A PIRATE
“Arr, she’s a fine vessel, ain’t she?” would be frowned upon for many reasons, not least the gendered pronoun. “Boats, nautically speaking, are usually a small craft that can be carried on a ship, a larger vessel suitable for crossing the high seas. The exception is a submarine, which is most often referred to as a boat. All take the pronoun it, not she.”
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3. WATERGATE CHANGED EVERYTHING, INCLUDING AMERICAN GRAMMAR
Of course, the CIA is able to pinpoint who is to blame for American usage going awry: Celebrity newscasters.
“Celebrity copycatting can lead one up the garden path because those emulated are not always pure of speech. A venerable newscaster persists in mispronouncing February (without the first r sound) and has misled a whole generation. Another Pied Piper of TV is given to saying “one of those who is” — joining many others who are deceived by the one and forget that the plural who is the subject of the verb. The classic copycat phrase, at this point in time, grew out of the Watergate hearings and now is so firmly entrenched that we may never again get people to say at this time, at present, or simply now.”
4. THE CIA EMPLOYS POETIC REALISTS
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Just check out this fantastic entry for the word “die”:
“Die is something we all do, even writers who relegate world leaders to a sort of Immortality Club with phrasing like the President has taken steps to ensure a peaceful transition if he should die. Reality can be recognized by inserting in the office or at the end of his term, or even by saying simply when he dies.”
5. “EVIDENCE” IS A CRAP WORD AND YOU KNOW IT
“Evidence is not a synonym for Information or reporting. For the most part, avoid the word and get on with the analysis. Such phrases as available evidence indicates are essentially meaningless.”
