Taki’s Older Gentleman’s Guide

December 22, 2014

Here is my Christmas gift to Takimag readers, one that applies mostly to unmarried males, but it’s also available to married ones who might wish to test whether that old magic still works. (Female readers of the best magazine in the whole wide world may also pick up a few hints.)

This is not to be confused with the amateurish, vulgar, and embarrassing inventory of the Swiss-American Julien Blanc on how to pick up women. His guide was meant for tattooed beer drinkers trying to pull drunken tarts in cheap bars. Mine is for gentlemen endeavoring to make an impression on ladies and well brought up young women. Here we go:

NOW Supplements, Maca ... Buy New $11.70 (as of 10:49 UTC - Details) Needless to say, the way to success with the fairer sex cannot be taught. One either has it or one doesn’t. Politeness comes first, that and humor. Make a girl laugh and you’re halfway there. Never harass, never beg, never insist too much. (Choking as foreplay is a real no-no.) Wit and self-deprecation are indispensable. Ever since I began to look my age, I’ve become more polite than usual, and when the opportunity arises, I approach the lady or ladies in question and ask, smilingly, if any of them are at all interested in a much older man. Women are much nicer than men, and in all the years I’ve been trying this, all but one have always laughingly said yes.

I never thought it would work in Greece, but the last time I was there two months ago, I approached a table of Real Herbs Indonesian ... Buy New $33.70 ($0.67 / Count) (as of 09:40 UTC - Details) five girls who were looking awfully jolly and in their cups, and when I asked them this particular question they roared with laughter. Because of a slight accent when I speak Greek, one of them mistook me for an American, and said in a low voice, “the oldie is cute.”

As previously mentioned, this is how you pick up strangers of the opposite sex in polite society. In places like Hollywood, nothing I’ve said counts. La-la land requires its very own key questions that are a sine qua non. “What are you missing in your life?” is Hollywood pickup 101. The most important of all is “What can I do to make your life better?” As the famous film director James Toback said to me, “Anyone not responding to that is not worth picking up.” Being direct in California helps as much as it hinders at 5 Hertfort Street.

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$bio: Taki is an ex-Greek Davis Cup player as well as a former captain of the Greek national karate team. He has won the U.S. national veterans judo championship twice, and in 2008 was world veterans judo champion 70 and over. Since 1967, when he began his career with National Review, he has been a columnist for the London Spectator, the London Sunday Times, Esquire Magazine, Vanity Fair and Chronicles Magazine. In 2002 he founded The American Conservative with Pat Buchanan. He has covered the Vietnam War as well as the Yom Kippur War and the Cyprus conflict of 1974.

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Taki is an ex-Greek Davis Cup player as well as a former captain of the Greek national karate team. He has won the U.S. national veterans judo championship twice, and in 2008 was world veterans judo champion 70 and over. Since 1967, when he began his career with National Review, he has been a columnist for the London Spectator, the London Sunday Times, Esquire Magazine, Vanity Fair and Chronicles Magazine. In 2002 he founded The American Conservative with Pat Buchanan. He has covered the Vietnam War as well as the Yom Kippur War and the Cyprus conflict of 1974.

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