Ah, the beauty of language! The English one is as rich as they come, with words such as “osculation,” “verbigeration,” “concupiscence,” “mithridatism,” and “onomatopoeia.” I could go on forever. The latest to be added to an already bulging dictionary is “Toobin.” For any of you unfamiliar with what doing a Toobin is, it is something most young people, especially boys, do while dreaming of sex with a girl. Doing a Toobin became part of the language after Jeffrey Toobin, a left-wing writer for CNN and The New Yorker, was caught masturbating on camera while talking to his editors at the magazine. The New Yorker has become so woke nowadays that masturbation, I would think, is a sine qua non for its writers. He was nevertheless suspended, but doing a Toobin is now part of the language, and if some of you oldies out there have forgotten all about it, turn on CNN and you’ll see Toobin raging against Trump and—hopefully—not masturbating.
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When I was at boarding school during the ’50s, a Toobin was referred to in manuals as self-abuse. Not many of us agreed with that depiction, but I’m getting away from the point of my story, which is about language, and the importance of language. Control of language is the most important part of a totalitarian regime. Those nice guys who gave us political correctness knew what they were doing. The natural continuation was woke and the forbidden words in order to get us all thinking and speaking the way they wanted us to. Threats to freedom of speech by woke adherents became the closest Uncle Sam had ever come to a dictatorship, with the media, the academy, Hollywood, and some very big corporations in cahoots. Censoring free speech by The New York Times—and altering history with its false 1619 theory—now lies in ruins thanks to The Donald and chaps like a rich man with twelve children called Musk. Yippee!
“What a world these bums had in store for us.”
Mind you, it’s still much too early, but I can’t help celebrating. DEI is not dead, and rats like Zuckerberg will switch back against Trump the moment he stumbles. But at least we’re talking like human beings once again: We can now buy things rather than purchase them. I can get help rather than obtain it. I can write about my parents rather than my father and mother, and talk about the manpower we lack at times rather than the people who are absent. And my kids can tell me about their husband, wife, boyfriend, or girlfriend rather than their partners.
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My friend of more than sixty years, the actress Joan Collins, refused throughout the PC terror period to call herself an actor. “I am an actress,” she corrected those who called her an actor. Good for you, Joanie, and that goes for other terms as well, such as “hero,” “God,” and “chair” to refer to women. De-gendering our way of speaking is supposed to empower the weaker sex, the one I always refer to as the fairer one. It did nothing of the sort. It simply confused the issue and made it possible for the dwarfs of the media to play big shot.
A similar impulse has guided efforts by the PC dictators to popularize inclusive language about race and gender. Engineering how people speak is a totalitarian regime’s dream come true. When I told someone I hardly knew that I was nearly blind in one eye he corrected me: “You mean you’re visually handicapped…” I told him to go and reproduce himself but used a word that begins with the letter F.
