In the beginning, there was the photograph, and the photograph was still and without life. And the people lined up for portraits saying, “Behold, these photographs are flat and lifeless. We want three realistic dimensions!”
And so two photographs of the same scene from slightly different angles were caused to be placed in a diaphanoscope, and lo! objects looked real and the images had depth. But the people were not satisfied and cried out as one for motion in their pictures.
Then stacks of slightly different photographs were arranged and flipped to create the illusion of motion, and the nickelodeon was given unto the people. The people were sorely amazed and demanded feature-length versions that told stories. Dark Future: Uncoverin... Best Price: $2.90 Buy New $9.80 (as of 10:31 UTC - Details)
And so images were lined up on celluloid strips and run through a special lantern that projected the images on the wall, and they appeared to move as unto real life. But alas, there was no sound, and the people were vexed and despondent, and they spaketh a curse unto the wizards.
Until one day, a box came into the world that magically carried sound from distant lands and reproduced it in the people’s homes. The masses were dazzled and gathered round the boxes, listening to stories and news of far-off lands. “Behold!” they cried. “We can be transported to false worlds, and false worlds can invade our minds!”
But lo, the people were still not satisfied and demanded that the sounds have pictures, and the pictures have sounds that are synced together and can kill two hours on a Saturday afternoon.
And so the wizards gathered in their sacred labs and fiddled and puttered with lanterns and boxes until one day, a miracle occurred. A troubadour called Al of Jolson appeared at a cinema near you. He sangth jazz and his voice was heard to sync with his lips, and the people fell down and bought popcorn unlike any concession sales ever before.
But soon the people tired of synced sound and pictures. They went unto the wizards and demanded that realistic color be added unto the magic projections. And so the wizards toiled night and day until they produced Becky Sharp, that combined motion film with radio boxes using color that was Techni. The people cheered and spent money like unto drunken sailors. The wizards took their loot and bought wands of wood that were holly, and maketh feature films about themselves that the people cherished and adored.
But it was not enough, never enough. “Verily,” the people cried out, “we love the content, but we want it in the comfort of our homes, like unto radio boxes, where we may partake of frozen dinners and gather the clan before flickering Light of Entrancement.”
The wizards were sorely amazed. “We give these people lights, sounds and color, yet they demand more and better. Their thirst cannot be slaken but that we transmit our wizardry into their very homes on multiple channels night and day!”
Whereupon a mighty wizard called Philo of the tribe of Farnsworth came forth and said, “Behold! I have found The Way. I have merged the cinema and the radio box, to transmit color, sound and lights through the aether! I shall call it vision of the tele.”
The wizards were astounded and gave Philo grants, investments and cigars, and the new boxes were shipped as fast as they could be assembled.
And the people cried out as one, “Lo! Thou hast done it, you old dog you!” And they flocked in great numbers to stores of departments, and bought the magic boxes by the truckloads. Soon there were dramas and sitcoms and variety shows on regular schedules, and the Guide of TV became their new sacred text, and the money poured into the wizards’ treasuries like manna from heaven.
The people were hypnotized for a time, and placated they were. But soon they tired of reruns and were not content to sit passively upon the sofa, with their operas interrupted by commercials for soap.
And so the wizards gathered again. “Hark, the people stir and are bored with our tricks. They gather at our doors with pitch forks and torches demanding the power to interact with the magic boxes.” American Secession: Th... Best Price: $15.64 Buy New $16.22 (as of 10:56 UTC - Details)
And so the wizards laboured around the clock until one day they gathered before the cameras of video and held aloft The Pong. “Verily we say unto you, we have created games of video. Now you can interact with your magic box for hours at a time, and your children and their children shall gain pounds of flesh and become pale and sickly staring at our mighty creation!”
And the people sat slack-jawed upon their sofas, only their thumbs were seen to move.
And so this dynamic interaction went on until the magic boxes got smaller, and portable, with higher resolution and faster frame rates until the people had forgotten the days with ears of rabbits. And the boxes merged with telephones and calendars and mail of the electronic kind. The wizards created networks that the people may carry their magic boxes on commuter trains and in public spaces, and annoy each other with unwanted distractions.
Then one day the Great Convergence happened, with virtual signs and wonders in the heavens. The wizards, sorely beleaguered by press releases and upgrades, created magic glass that could be worn upon the eyes. The glass projected hyperimages of glorious supersaturated color and 7.1 Surround Sound in the Golden Ratio of 16 cubits by 9 cubits directly into the eyes and ears. These bits of glass could be worn anywhere, at any time, and the content choices were without end.