A Classless, Food Fighting Idiocracy

Lowering the lowest common denominator

The 2024 presidential campaign, such as it exists, continues to sink further down, to the level of sandbox bickering. It’s basically “nanny nanny boo boo” time. Except that elementary school students have more maturity about it. They don’t always put a turd in the punch bowl. They don’t always use sexual references and potty humor.

Donald Trump recently bragged about Arnold Palmer’s penis. If this seems like an odd thing for a politician to focus on, you haven’t been paying attention to the Trumpenstein Project. Arnold Palmer isn’t around to bask in the glow of being outed as well hung, but his daughter expressed the astonishment that anyone would feel over such comments. Not being the daughter of Joe Biden, for example, she wouldn’t have much knowledge about her father’s genitals. She said it was “disrespectful” and the Palmer family claimed he was “appalled” by Trump’s crudeness. Trump apparently talked about Arnold in the shower for some ten minutes at a Pennsylvania campaign rally. Well, what better way would there be for him to try to win Pennsylvania? It is unknown what triggered Trump’s fond remembrances of the legendary golfer. It is even more unknown just what that would have to with campaigning for president. Last Rights: The Death... Bovard, James Best Price: $7.00 Buy New $19.99 (as of 04:51 UTC - Details)

It is actually Jack Nicklaus, the underappreciated greatest golfer of all time, who has publicly supported Trump. At of last year, he had “not ruled out” supporting Trump again. Nothing is publicly known about Nicklaus’s penis. Even Trump has apparently never seen it. It was Nicklaus who shattered all the PGA records, not Arnold Palmer. Palmer was flashier, and had a bigger fan following, but basically burned out after a short period of greatness. Nicklaus remained competitive over decades. So why couldn’t Trumpenstein throw Nicklaus a crumb, and wax rhapsodic over his male organ? Sure, Nicklaus and/or his family might have been offended, but maybe he would have been flattered. Who wouldn’t be? Maybe he’d officially endorse him.

Trump’s bizarre reference to the penis of a man who evidently never supported him, reminded us of how often Trump’s penis is inexplicably brought up by those who hate him. I’ve tried to wrap my mind around it, but I just can’t comprehend why those with TDS are so fixated on Trump’s “micro” penis. Well, orange micro penis, to be entirely accurate. As Trump said of Arnold’s equipment, “we want to be honest.” Now, Trump might possibly have first hand knowledge about Palmer, although we should ask why he was looking down there, but how do those with TDS know anything about Trump’s orange penis? They can’t possibly have seen him walking out of a shower at one of his golf clubs. Did they have sex with him, and are just bitter, disappointed lovers? Why is it so important to them that his penis be small? Micro? If he turned out to actually be as big as Arnold Palmer’s allegedly was, would that make them like him?

Just before this, Trump had appeared at a McDonald’s, and served as temporary French Fry Boy. He seemed to feel that McDonald’s was a great place to work. We already know it’s the staple of his diet. Trump was predictably skewered for what his opponents considered a stab at Kamala Harris, who has dubiously claimed to have worked at McDonald’s as a youngster. Trump appeared comfortable among the fast food workers. That’s one of his strengths; a billionaire who never worked a physical job in his life somehow being relatable to the common riff raff. No one can picture Countess Cackula or Barack Obama being a believable French Fry Boy or French Fry Girl. French Fry They/Them. His enemies claim that Trump, like many Republicans, doesn’t think we should have a minimum wage. Even if we don’t raise it for many years. He told the young kid who’d been working there for eight years- “great job.”

Trump has been making appearances on the biggest internet platforms, most recently on Joe Rogan’s podcast. Countess Cackula, meanwhile, preferred to talk with the likes of inexplicably popular podcaster Charlamagne tha God. Yes, that’s the name he calls himself. This intellectual lightweight actually calls himself God. Well, I suppose it’s less blasphemous when you preface it with “tha” instead of “the.” It’s a hip hop, sacraligious thing, you wouldn’t understand. She will also be talking to former NFL player Shannon Sharpe, one of the loudest, most obnoxious, and least articulate of all the loud, obnoxious, inarticulate former athletes turned talking head. Maybe she’ll share her vast knowledge of NFL football. Cackula clearly wants to keep it as light and frivolous as possible. Even college CIA intern Anderson Cooper’s softball questions recently were too much for her. 10-Minute Strength Tra... Deboo PT, Ed Buy New $8.51 (as of 04:42 UTC - Details)

Cackula and the Democrats have unleashed a new “Trump is Hitler” barrage. They quote Trump’s former Chief of Staff John Kelly, one of the many Never Trumpers Trumpenstein surrounded himself with in the Oval Office, as saying Trump admired Hitler’s generals. Something like that. Anything to connect the Giant Orange Man with the micro-penis to Hitler, who we are told had one less testicle than even Trump. It’s funny that the “fact checkers” don’t require any corroborating evidence that Kelly was quoting Trump accurately. And reportedly there were two other witnesses there who maintain Trump never made such comments. If a disgruntled former Biden official publicly declared that Creepy Joe had talked about his desire to find porno tapes involving little girls and their freshly shampooed hair, would the “fact checkers” believe him?

Not only is the mantra that Trump, the most pro-Israeli president of all our pro-Israeli presidents, and a man with Jewish grandchildren, is an admirer of Hitler, now another accusation has been leveled at him. Model Stacy Williams has suddenly come forward to report that she was groped by Trump, in front of Jeffrey Epstein no less, who was supposedly her boyfriend at the time, in 1993. It is unknown if Stacy has a dog named Tits, or paints her trees blue, but she apparently waited even longer to report this than certified lunatic E. Jean Carroll. At least she remembered the year it took place, unlike Carroll. But it was thirty one years ago. And there is a presidential campaign going on. A strong piece of evidence for Williams, at least according to the always dishonest state controlled media, is a postcard signed by Trump that offers her “a home away from home.” In the “Woke” world, that’s “gaslighting” for groping.

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