White Men: Captain Marvel Is Not for You

…although, if you fail to give it positive reviews, you are vile misogynists

Captain Marvel is a triumph. Finally, we have a female superhero! This is progress. This is new. This is fresh. This is terrifying men all over the planet. Not since Ghostbusters 2016 has a movie featured such a strong female lead. I literally cannot think of ONE other comic book-based movie which has a woman in the title role. I wonder why this is? Oh, I know, it’s because Hollywood hates women.

The star of the movie, Brie Larson is also a superhero in real life. She bravely spoke out about the negative reviews A Wrinkly Time received, stating that too many white men had seen it. Now, as a black woman, I watched that film with tears in my eyes. When I saw the 200ft tall Oprah Winfrey preaching to those kids like Disney’s version of Jesus while dressed as Ru Paul after an altercation with a shopping trolley, I knew this was the best movie ever made.

Amazon.com Gift Card i... Buy New $25.00 (as of 06:10 UTC - Details) So why does it only get 42 percent on Rotten Tomatoes? Simple, because 100 percent of reviews are written by white men and only 42 percent of them are woke enough to accept that Oprah may just be the Second Coming (I personally have suspected this for some time and have written several pamphlets on the subject).

Now we have Captain Marvel, and with it comes the predictable slurry of misogynistic manbabies all crawling out of their mom’s basements to review-bomb it into oblivion. I knew this was going to happen, literally HANDFULS of these vile men have given this movie average to less-than-average ratings all over the internet. Once again, a woman is being attacked by at least a couple of hundred jeering, patronizing, patriarchal, Dorito-munching comic book nerds who are going out of their way to write appa llingly sexist comments such as: ‘While definitely not the worst Marvel film I have seen so far, I cannot say it’s among the best’ and: ‘Captain Marvel isn’t quite up there with Thor: Ragnarok or Avengers: Infinity War, but it certainly manages to hold its own in the Marvel universe’. I mean, have you ever read anything so abusive? To top it all, it gets a mere 79 percent on Rotten Tomatoes, when Avengers: Infinity War gets a suspiciously positive 85 percent. Obviously because that movie has a lot of men in it.

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