Will Bill Be The Vice-Husband?

Not a day goes by that the news isn’t saying, “Did you hear what Donald Trump said?!” Ok, look, can we quit nailing his keester to the wall for a moment to look and see what the “other guy” just said? Basically, if you’re going to point out Donald Trump’s “Three S Sentences” (that is Scary Sounding Sayings), then where is the equal time for the scary stuff Hillary has said?

Hillary said that she has a whole treasure trove of economy-fixing skill at her fingertips, so to speak, with her husband Bill. As I said here before, who is running for president? Her or Bill? I mean, saying you’re going to award government positions to family members is like what goes on in Third World banana republics. Oh, wait, I forgot. We are one. Well, anyways, she’s basically saying that Bill will be the de facto vice-president. Gee, will he have time, what with all the female interns certainly to be hired on in keeping with EEOC protocols of the last several years?

What will Bill do that Hillary can’t? Oh, I realize that’s a big question that can generate a lot of laughter as it certainly should. Be my guest, let your mind run away with that one. But how does it come to be that the presidency now becomes “Take Your Husband To Work Day”? I mean, when you go to a job interview and they ask if you can do the job, do you answer with, “Well, no, but my spouse can!”? Let’s stop whining about what Trump said and start looking closer at what Hillary just said. She just said her spouse, who is not an elected official, will help chart the economic future of the United States. This is far more embarrassing than anything old Billy Carter ever did back in the day.

I think perhaps it might be time to basically make the presidency like a monastery. No married people, dating, or hooking up while in office. That’d stop both Hillary and Bill at once in two different arenas, what? Not that I think that would solve anything, but at least it’d cut down on the people that could run. Who knows? Maybe the 50-year-old single guy with fifteen cats who collects stamps and listens to Bach might work out better for us in the long run. At least he wouldn’t be hassling the interns, or at least confine his hassling to obsessive compulsive things like who moved the copy of “Gentleman’s Guide To Coins Of The Ancient World” from the Oval Office desk. Perhaps he might even accomplish something, such as realize provoking the Russians could result in a thermonuclear war that would reduce his cherished stamp collection to ashes.

What then? Do we trust that Hillary has not said something amazingly sinister while if Donald Trump says the sky is blue, we accuse him of color bias? Hey, I don’t vote, so I don’t really think any of them are saying anything besides what they feel they have to in order to get elected. But when you’re saying that if elected, you’ll park your husband in the cab of the locomotive of economic progress, that is probably one of the dumbest things I’ve ever heard other than the Pentagon saying they could win a war against a tiny nation that doesn’t have an air force or navy.

Why is it dumb? Again, because Bill already had his turn. Eight long years of it, I might add. So, what, since he can’t get in for a third term, he comes in the back door, excuse the expression, via his wife? This is absurd. The government sits there and criticizes other countries because their sons have taken over the helm of government from their fathers. Such was the case with Bashar al-Assad who took over from his dad, Hafez. But as far as I know, Bashar doesn’t have his wife deciding their economic future. Be that as it may, governments that live in glass nepotisms shouldn’t throw stones.

It truly is Hillary-ious, but no one challenges this crap coming from Hillary. No one has said, “Hey Hillary, that isn’t Constitutional!” They sit there and say how what Trump says he’ll do is not Constitutional, but if Hillary says she’ll do something unconstitutional, everyone applauds. “Yay! Bill will save us!” He will?! Heaven helps us if that’s what we’re all waiting on. I think Treasury Bonds are about to take a huge tumble and China is about to get stuck with a bunch of worthless paper of the same ilk as bogus mining stock from the Gold Rush. The only “rush” in our future will be dumping it as quickly as possible. Yeah, Bill’s going to save us. Just as soon as he returns from training the interns.

Look, ma’am, let’s look back in time to 2008. People said then of John McCain’s campaign, “We’ll only be a heart attack away from Sarah Palin as president!” Everyone freaked out. If Bill is the Grand Mufti (stop laughing) of the Economy under a President Hillary Administration (Part Two of The Clinton Dynasty), what then? Are we only a heart attack away from another Great Depression? Or, to be more politically correct, will it be The Feels-Good-About-Itself Depression? What have we got here? Is this like the scams the supermarkets pull now where they tell you, “Buy One, Get One Free” and you don’t realize the price on the one is jacked up double? What of this? We buy Hillary, and we get Bill free? Except it ends up costing us the same as if we voted for any other processed cheese politician?

So far, we have not even heard of any great plans to patch the hole on the side of the Titanic we call the economy. “Well, let’s keep going full speed ahead, hit another iceberg, and that’ll tear a bigger hole in the ship which will let out all the water we took on from the first hole!” I understand Bill is rather accomplished at such tasks.  I mean, just look around at all this prosperity left over from his administration! Look at all this prosperity that Obama has brought us, for whom Hillary worked! If we get any more prosperous, why we’ll have to count our pennies before buying a quart of milk! Think of all the great jobs that will be created as urban recycling engineers and car window-washing personnel!

Indeed, I am able to see all the great prosperity around me. Why just yesterday I had to lay on the brakes of my bicycle because I saw two pennies in the road. That was the only change I’ve been able to believe in: That which is laying on the road. I love how Hillary panders to people in my economic demographic group. As if we’re all too stupid to remember it has been HER party in charge for the last eight years. Yes, all those posters about “hope” and “change” and the only thing we’ve gotten is poorer and into yet another Middle Eastern war against a country that did nothing to us. Bashar al-Assad must step down, huh, yeah, that’ll really help us make ends meet. News flash: Bashar al-Assad does not run the United States and, for that matter, neither does Vladimir Putin. So stop bringing up those two men and then gloss over the fact that many of our cities look worse than Palmyra does right now over in Syria. At least Syria will rebuild Palmyra.

Speaking of the Middle East, Egypt just lost an airliner to a possible terrorist action. Not to leave any tragedy unused, Hillary said: “Once again, it shines a very bright light on the threats that we face from organized terror groups,” she tells us. “And I think it reinforces the need for American leadership, the kind of smart, steady leadership that only America can provide.”, she also said. What has this woman been smoking?! Will she say she didn’t inhale like Bill did back in the day?Since when has American “leadership” been smart or steady?! It’s American “leadership” that has created the problem! Oh, right, but elect her! She’ll fix it! Or is Bill going to solve this, too? Like he solved the problem which did not concern us in Somalia? Right, let’s get into another war. Hey, lady, what happened to fixing the economy?

See, the media seems to think because Bill was president it’s ok for Hillary to rely on him for political functions. Well, if we’re running the presidency that way now, what we have is a king and a queen, am I correct? or, perhaps, a junta-by-marriage. This is almost like Hillary went and saw “Evita” and said, “Gosh, that’s a rather good idea!” Yeah, well, don’t cry for her, America. She won’t keep her promises.