- “One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.”
- “The other night I ate at a real nice family restaurant. Every table had an argument going.”
- “By and large, language is a tool for concealing the truth.”
- “Well, if crime fighters fight crime, and fire fighters fight fire, what to freedom fighters fight? They never mention that part to us, do they?”
- “Think off-center.”
- “When you step on the brakes, your life is in your foot’s hands.”
- “The main reason Santa is so jolly is that he knows where all the bad girls live.”
- “The reason I talk to myself is that I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”
- “Don’t sweat the petty things, and don’t pet the sweaty things.”
- “Electricity is just organized lightning.”
- “I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven’t tried that for a while. Maybe this time it will work.”
- “May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.”
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