People sometimes say, “Calm down, it isn’t a popularity contest.” Well, people lied. It totally is. Around here anyway. So exactly how popular are you and is this a good thing? Only one way to find out: fiiiight! Sorry, I mean, take our test ….

1. How will you celebrate your next birthday?

Dinner and drinks with friends – 3 POINTS

Do something low-key but indulgent with your other half – 2 POINTS

Ignore it and hope it goes away – 1 POINT

Hire a party venue. Judging by previous years, it’ll probably turn it into a weekend-long extravaganza – 4 POINTS

2. How many followers do you have on Twitter?

Thousands. Too many to follow them all back. You sometimes slip up and call them “fans” – 4 POINTS

Hundreds. You follow most of them back out of courtesy – 3 POINTS

Single figures. But hey, no wonder – your profile pic is an egg – 2 POINTS

Twitter? Twatter, more like. You’d rather read a book – 1 POINT

3. How do you spend your lunchbreaks at work?

Hoping none of your annoying colleagues bother you – 1 POINT

Catching up with friends, either over lunch or on the phone, and networking when you can – 4 POINTS

Shopping or gym – 2 POINTS

Sometimes grab a sandwich with a colleague and you always go to the pub on Fridays. It’s tradition innit? – 3 POINTS

4. Roughly how many birthday cards do you get?

Way more than your age – 4 POINTS

Slightly fewer than your age – 3 POINTS

Single figures – 2 POINTS

One or two tops – 1 POINT

5. What did you do last weekend?

Went out on Friday night, saw some mates for brunch, went out again Saturday night, then had Sunday lunch with friends – 4 POINTS

Had a night out, ran into friends one afternoon, spent the rest hanging out at home – 3 POINTS

You had some stuff planned but didn’t fancy it, so blew your friends out – 2 POINTS

Spent it in blissful solitude, catching up on chores, work and reading – 1 POINT

6. If you were in a football team, what would your role be?

Stalwart midfield team man who gives his all for the cause – 3 POINTS

Unsung defensive hero who quietly gets on with their job – 2 POINTS

Mercurial loner and misunderstood genius, probably playing in the hole or in goal – 3 POINTS

Captain, star player and centre forward – 4 POINTS

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