There was once a small village in the heart of country u201CUSu201D called village A. Village A was the source of a river that flowed to another small village, village B. Both village A and village B had all the fresh water supply that they needed.

There was another village though, village C, that didn’t live near a river so they got the government to reroute the river running between village A and village B to run through village C as well. Even though the project was drastically over budget and schedule it was eventually completed and the government was hailed as good and righteous. Unfortunately, the government didn’t know that village C sat right on top of a fault line. One day the fault moved and opened up a large hole in the earth right underneath the river cutting off the water supply to both village C and village B.

The government wasted no time addressing the crisis: they jumped into action to repair the hole under the river at village C but until they could finish they had to find a way to supply village B and village C with fresh water so they hired a crew from village A to carry water from a lake miles away that was supplying fresh water to village D. Even though the project was drastically over budget and schedule and some of the people contracted to carry the water were eventually convicted of fraud for charging the government for work they didn’t do and some government employees were found to be complicit in the fraudulent activities village B and village C did once again have fresh water and the government was hailed as good and righteous.

After a few weeks fresh water from village D’s lake was running low so the government commissioned a firm to dig a well to supply village D with water. Even though the project was drastically over budget and schedule and some of the people contracted to dig the well were eventually convicted of fraud for charging the government for work they didn’t do and some government employees were found to be complicit in the fraudulent activities and the head of the government was impeached but didn’t have to leave office the well was completed and village D once again had fresh water and the government was hailed as good and righteous.

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Then one day the well dug to supply fresh water to village D went dry and the government leapt into action and commissioned an environmental group to find out why the well went dry. In the end the group published a 2000 page report stating the well went dry because the people in village D drank all the water in it and the government was hailed as good and righteous.

To address the problem of the people of village D drinking all the water in their well the leaders of village D were arrested and tried for misallocation of resources and sentenced to life in prison.

Meanwhile the people of villages B, C and D, being without water, all immigrated to village A since the hole in the earth beneath the river in village C had yet to be repaired and village A was the only village with fresh water.

After a while the influx of people into village A caused the water supply to run out so the government leapt into action: they began borrowing water from country u201CThem.u201D

After a while the demands for water in country u201CUSu201D could not be met by borrowing water only from country u201CThemu201D so country u201CUSu201D began borrowing water from other countries as well.

One day country u201CThemu201D demanded that all their water be paid back with interest. Country u201CUSu201D refused and invaded country u201CThemu201D in order to install a government that would be more agreeable to the country u201CUSu201D policy of taking and not giving.

Some of the people of country u201CThemu201D resented the fact that country u201CUSu201D had invaded their country and they fought back. Country u201CUSu201D didn’t like this so they sent more people to country u201CThemu201D to fight against the u201Cinsurgentsu201D leaving the repair project of the river in village C undermanned.

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Meanwhile the fighting in country u201CThemu201D was disrupting the shipping of water to country u201CUSu201D so the u201CUSu201D government, seeing the crisis, decided to make its own water from hydrogen and oxygen.

The plan was to produce water and dig artificial rivers to carry the government produced water to villages, A, B, C and D.

Since new rivers were being dug, there was no reason to continue the repair project on the natural river going through village C so that project was abandoned. Even though the artificial river project was drastically over budget and schedule and some of the people contracted to build it were eventually convicted of fraud for charging the government for work they didn’t do and some government employees were found to be complicit in the fraudulent activities and the head of the government was impeached, again, but didn’t have to leave office, again, the government u201CUSu201D completed its new artificial river infrastructure which successfully supplied water to all four villages and the government was hailed as good and righteous

Unfortunately, all the people in country u201CUSu201D had already died of thirst.

The Best of Don Cooper

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