Until recently, I was dead-set against the idea of a National Sales Tax (NST or "Fair Tax"), and somewhat aghast at the idea that some of my fellow libertarians would waste precious time and resources actually proposing an entirely new federal tax. Couldn't we just work on proposing ways to reduce taxes, and let the statists work on proposing new taxes? What were they thinking!? (or, as one very patient person has taught me to ask of myself and others: "What, were they thinking?" – a subtle but important difference).
But now I've seen the light. I'm pro-fed-sales-tax all the way. After all, the government needs that money – gosh, even with what they have so far, they're already in debt! And it would cause great hardship (beyond the obvious political hardship, that is) and inconvenience to a lot of folks who depend on that money – we certainly can't just propose cutting them off all at once. As soon as they see how much they're paying in sales tax, they will surely take up arms to lower the tax anyway. Well, except for those people who are net receivers of the tax, that is – which will be just the same number of people who are net tax-receivers now. And just think of the secondary benefits! Sure, we'll still be paying exactly the same amount in federal taxes, but we'll have gotten rid of the IRS – there's something to be said for that, surely? And it will be so much simpler and convenient to have your money taken from you – no messy forms, no invasion of privacy. And a regular check from the government for everyone – at least if they register their address with the feds like good like citizen-droids. I can really get behind that; it makes the sales tax concept so much more progressive!
In fact, I like this new u2018progressive libertarian' way of taxing so much, I think we need to extend this model to other areas where the state is overbearing and evil. We could have u2018libertarian' wars of aggression against other countries – maybe replace the Pentagon with a Hexagon and choose targets of foreign aggression by throwing a dart at a board – progressive libertarianism in action! Because, of course, it would be so inconvenient to the warfare part of the welfare-warfare state to just do away with foreign aggression altogether. And, inconvenience is so … well, so inconvenient. We wouldn't want to inconvenience the folks at Haliburton by making them look for respectable and useful work, would we?
But here's my contribution to Progressive Libertarianism: The National Death Penalty. The NDP (or "Fair Murder") would replace the current unfair and anti-progressive Federal Death Penalty. Because, of course, we couldn't just end the Federal Death Penalty – think how many people that would inconvenience! The NDP would work like this: instead of having a lengthy process of trial and appeal which consumes so many resources and lets people with superior resources (sometimes) get away, the NDP would make the federal government's job of killing people so much more efficient and fair by simply selecting at random the recipients of the death penalty. Think of the benefits! No massive federal bureaucracy of death – just a simple Death Lottery. No invasion of privacy – we can just enroll everyone getting their u2018prebate' check from the NST into the NDP program, and pull names at random. Think of the paperwork reduction! But do I hear an objection from the back of the crowd? Innocents would be murdered, you say? Well, how would that be different from the current operation of the Federal Death Penalty? Look, you can't just expect the state to stop murdering people all at once, can you? Be realistic! Besides, the more innocent people who are murdered, the more quickly people will rise up against the state to stop all state-murder. We hope.
You see what can be accomplished when we start applying Progressive Libertarian solutions to the problems caused by government? All it takes is a willingness to think outside the box and get with the program – to understand that government isn't going away no matter what we do, so it's better if we forge our own chains rather than let someone else do it. Because at least in that case we'll have more comfortable shackles, and that's what really counts these days. To some people, anyway.
November 25, 2005
Susan Hogarth [send her mail] is a brain-imaging research coordinator in a neurodevelopmental disorders research group. Visit her website.
