Think of George W. Bush as the Pointy-Haired Boss from Dilbert, and it all makes sense. The greatest difference between the two, of course, is that one is a fictional leader who was concocted just to make money for his creator, and the other is a cartoon character. Still, there’s much to be learned about GWB by studying PHB.
Neither is an evil man, though each can certainly step up to the plate when it comes to making amoral decisions with a let-God-sort-’em-out unconcern about the consequences.
Both are in situations way, way over their heads, and are absolutely dependent on underlings to attend to those pesky technical details, and on superiors (think Dick Cheney) to make the real decisions. When it comes to these two, the Peter Principle seems like a rosy assessment of leadership incompetence in bureaucracies. PHB is the archetypal middle manager who achieved that career-capping promotion to the job he always wanted but wasn’t really qualified for; GWB has PHB’s talent, yet has leapfrogged all the way into the Oval Office – which makes him the scarier of the two.
Pointy doesn’t give a damn about employees. They’re cannon fodder, or, if you will, human resources, just as copier paper, sticky notes, and staples are office supply resources – things to be used, crumpled, and tossed as needed. If the bottom line can be pumped up short term with some terminations just before Christmas, then let the pink slips fly. And George has the same attitude toward his own human resources, as shown with that defiant "Bring ’em on!" challenge to Iraqi insurgents.
And certainly, both try their best to talk as if they’re fully aware of the latest goings-on in their respective fields, but can never quite pull it off. The Boss never misses an opportunity to use business jargon he’s just stumbled upon to impress his listeners. It’s the same with the Prez:
"You’ve also got to measure in order to begin to effect change that’s just more – when there’s more than talk, there’s just actual – a paradigm shift. That’s what measurement does."
~ George W. Bush, Washington, DC, July 1, 2003
"It’s clearly a budget. It’s got a lot of numbers in it."
~ Reuters, May 5, 2000
"I understand small business growth. I was one."
~ New York Daily News, Feb. 19, 2000
"I hope investors, you know-secondly, I hope investors hold investments for periods of time-that I’ve always found the best investments are those that you salt away based on economics."
~ Associated Press, Austin, Texas, Jan. 4, 2001
Both of these fearless leaders say funny things because neither is really paying attention to what’s going on around him. Ineptness in these cases is the result of much effort. One must work very hard to encase oneself in a fog of preconceived ideas and rock-hard prejudices to rise to positions such as the Boss and the Prez occupy. But out of that artificial fog emanate policies and actions that hurt people. In Dilbertland, employees are hurled out of office windows and kicked through walls, but after a minor ink transfusion, come back for more. Not so in Dubyaland. That macho, go-get-’em mentality that sneers at the troubling details that make lesser men think twice may seem like inspired, no-nonsense, can-do dedication to Pointy and George, but in fact is nothing more than obliviousness born of arrogance.
The latest example comes from an Italian official who has resigned as counselor to the US-appointed provisional authority in Iraq. Marco Calamai told reporters the US is mismanaging reconstruction, out of touch with Iraqis, and only fueling their anger. He also revealed that US occupiers don’t understand Iraqi society and have hopelessly botched their pie-in-the-sky reconstruction projects. "Projects which have been implemented are not working and the Iraqis are more and more furious. This social unrest can only encourage terrorism."
Of course, it’s the Iraqi occupiers’ ham-fisted actions that really incite terrorist acts. US troops bully and needlessly kill Iraqi civilians, yet somehow Bush and his advisors express shock and indignation when the Iraqis strike back the only way they can. And now this blindness has reached such outrageous extremes that they would be comical if they weren’t so tragic. Last week, General John Abizaid, chief of the US Central Command, warned tribal sheiks and mayors the US military will use "stern measures" unless the local Iraqi leaders somehow stop attacks against coalition forces. And the latest campaign against unappreciative Iraqis, "Operation Iron Hammer," has US troops sealing off a 20-block area in Baghdad and searching every single building inside it. Colonel Russ Gold, commander of the 1st Armored Division’s 3rd Brigade, gave his men instructions that only Pointy-Haired Boss could dream up: "Be professional, be polite and be prepared to kill them."
Wow.
When I earned my keep in the corporate labyrinth, I frequently saw a little flyer that kept popping up on bulletin boards and cubicles. The flyer announced, "Beatings will continue until employee morale improves." Everyone who read it knew it was a joke about management ineptness – you know, the kind of thing that "Dilbert" lampoons. But that’s exactly what Bush is saying: US forces will maul the civilian population until retaliation against them ends. That little bit of Dilbertesque insanity is now official US policy.
The Pointy-Haired Boss and the Neocon President cannot grasp that they are doing more harm than good. They truly believe that the people they’re responsible for are helpless, lost souls who look to them for guidance and direction. They are Gnostics in gray flannel suits, or, on casual days, slacks and cowboy hats; they are Hobbes’ Leviathans who have come to bring order, peace, and prosperity to a world that, without them, would be chaotic and poor. Their hardwired self-images give them such a profound sense of self-righteousness that it’s impossible to tell them they are the source of chaos:
"And I tease people by saying, ‘A leader, you can’t say, follow me the world is going to be worse.’ I’m an optimistic person. I’m an inherently content person. I’ve got a great sense of where I want to lead and I’m comfortable with why I’m running."
~ George W. Bush, Washington Post, March 23, 2000
Sticky note to Dubya and Pointy: we’ve seen where you’re leading us, and we’re not that comfortable.
November 20, 2003
Michael C. Tuggle [send him mail] is a project manager and software trainer in Charlotte, NC. His first book, Confederates in the Boardroom, explores the implications of organizational science on political systems, and is published by Traveller Press.
