Divorce, Depression-Style
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CLAYTON, Mo. (AP) – Uncertain economic times are leading to an uneasy truce in the War of the Roses, as divorcing couples try to save some money – and perhaps some dignity.
With retirement accounts in tatters and homes losing value, many couples are dividing debt, not assets. The last thing they want is a mountain of legal bills to add to it.
"They don't want battles in court," said St. Charles lawyer Rebecca Magruder.
"We're seeing more people being more realistic about what they will get, more willing to settle," said Alisse Camazine, a Clayton divorce lawyer.
If a married couple are barely covering their current household expenses, the same income is not going to support two separate households.
"The judge or attorneys cannot wave a magic wand to solve financial problems," said Alan Freed, a family law attorney in Clayton who specializes in mediation.
Freed and Camazine, who both work at the law firm of Paule, Camazine & Blumenthal, have recently published a step-by-step guidebook Divorce in Missouri to help the approximately 22,000 couples in the state who call it quits every year.
The slumping real estate market and uncertainty over jobs also are causing more couples to remain under the same roof, even after they've decided they don't want to be married anymore.
Tom Weber, manager of domestic relations services of the Family Court in St. Louis County, says his staff is seeing more and more co-habitating during and after divorce. Mediators say this type of arrangement seems to work much better in low-conflict situations. "It's all about using your party manners," said Sue Amato, a lawyer and mediator in Clayton.
In St. Charles County, one such couple are still living together, even though their divorce was finalized a few weeks ago. They continued to share their home during the 3-month-long divorce process, and tried to keep things as efficient and civil as possible for the sake of their young children. The couple, married just shy of 10 years, recently refinanced their home, so selling it was out of the question.
"I didn't have the means to get a temporary apartment, nor did I have anybody with whom I could go live," said the husband, 38, who works at a local university. "When it got too stressful ... I went to the movies, or she went out with friends."
June 1, 2009
Copyright © 2009 St. Louis Post-Dispatch
