frustrated – and want to know what they can do.
It gets old
merely talking. They – our oppressors – don’t
care how much we talk. Perhaps then it is time for us to
act. But we must not act precipitously, much less suicidally.
A Wagnerian last stand is exactly that. Leaving a smoldering ruin
to the accompaniment of Siegfried’s funeral march doesn’t
accomplish very much.
So what, then?
openers. Laugh at the state. Better yet, cry.
have seen footage from North Korea in the aftermath of the death
of the last Dear Leader. The hair-pulling and screaming at the tragedy
of it all. Imagine such a demonstration of devotion at the funeral
of a costumed enforcer. That is, a cop’s funeral.
Crowds of people rending their clothes, falling to the ground, writhing
in emotional agony at the though of a “hero”
who has died “in the line of duty.” This ought to work
equally well at the wakes of our Dear Leaders – politicians
and so on. I regret deeply that this idea didn’t occur to
me in time for the funeral of Ronald Reagan – whose administration
nurtured the “troop” (and flag) worship which, more
than any other single thing, characterizes the modern USSA.
And what could
they do about our demonstrations of devotion? Poor, grieving
people! It would be unseemly to Tazer them.
There is also
Thank you so
much for your service! No, really. I mean it. Thank
you. Thank you thank you thank you. You have no idea
how much it means. May I shake your hand? Oh, thank
you thank you thank you thank you thank you. (This is particularly
effective when performed on one’s knees, hands clasped together
in supplication.) Tie dozens of yellow ribbons around every
tree – and bush – in your yard. When the zoning Nazis
hassle you, tell them (cue tears) you are “supporting the
troops.” Call the media. Etc.
Or, try the
When you find
yourself at some event at which the flag will be worshiped and speeches
given about “our freedoms,” begin with a snigger. Work
your way up to a derisive snort, then open – and hearty –
laughter. Bust a gut. Slap your knees. Double over and fall to the
ground, clutching your gut. It won’t require you to act much,
either. Just to hear some fool prattle on about how “free”
America is ought to be more than sufficient to trigger the necessary
Obey the law
– every law – to the letter. Drive exactly
the speed limit – and if someone bothers you about creating
a rolling roadblock, tell them you are “just being safe”
– and “following the law.” When you see a cop
not wearing a seat belt, report it. Tell the operator you are concerned
about “officer safety.” Attend town meetings and voice
concern about overweight cops – that you are worried about
their health and potential costs to society. Suggest
calisthenics. Mandatory calisthenics.
the law – whenever you can possibly get away with it. Ignore
idiotic (or rather, made for idiots) rules such as “no right
on red.” Don’t buckle up for safety. Or wear a helmet
when you ride – and shorts and flip flops.
the rest of the article
[send him mail] is an
automotive columnist and author of Automotive
Atrocities and Road Hogs (2011). Visit his
© 2013 Eric Peters
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