by Chris Sullivan: Questions
for Presidential 'Debate' Participants
were possible for anybody who ever lived to be president of the
At every election,
we're always told that if we don't vote for Tweedle Dum, Tweedle
Dumber will be elected and the Supreme Court will be filled with
activist judges or some terrible UN treaty will be pushed through
or what's left of our rights will be further eroded. That's probably
true in either case, but may be worse in the case of Tweedle Dumber.
But what if there is a third or fourth or any number of other candidates
who have no chance of winning, but are decent people with a zeal
to protect individual rights sort of a Clark Kent of politics.
Should you stick to principle and vote for them or "hold your
nose and vote for Tweedle Dum"?
is all theoretical, lets say that Lucifer has the nomination wrapped
up for the Evil Party and is polling something like 46% of the vote
against any nominee of the Stupid Party.
Party has a hard-fought three way race with Hitler, Stalin and Lincoln
eviscerating each other in a political gladiatorial game. As the
votes are counted at the convention, the great state of Erehwon
casts the winning votes for Stalin and the crowd is jubilant. Ten
thousand balloons are released as fourteen tons of confetti are
dropped on the delirious crowd. All the delegates agree that Stalin
is the electable candidate even though some are less than convinced
he can defeat Lucifer since Stalin only polls 40% in a match up
Stalin is the
clear favorite among religious people since he is clearly not as
bad as Lucifer and has pledged not to appoint any mass murderers
or child molesters to the Supreme Court.
looking better for Uncle Joe after focus groups find that emphasizing
his WW II alliance with the U.S. against Hitler plays well and old
pictures are brought out showing him kissing babies. Stalin, after
reinventing himself and hiring the best public relations consultants
has now closed the gap to 42 47% against Lucifer.
Just as Stalin
starts to look like he might have a chance to catch Lucifer, disaster
strikes. The Truth Party, a small splinter group of what most people
would classify as extremists nominates Jesus Christ as its candidate.To
make matters worse for Stalin, the Truth Party is on the ballot
in 42 states, in some of which he has his greatest strength.
Party establishment tries to persuade the officers of the Truth
Party to withdraw Jesus' nomination and throw their support to Stalin,
but the Truth Party people won't hear of it. The Stupids launch
an advertising campaign through a political front group advising
people not to waste their vote on Jesus. Bumper stickers are printed
with the slogan, "A Vote For Jesus Is A Vote For Lucifer."
campaign back-fires and causes his numbers to go up and Stalin's
to go down. Now the situation appears desperate, so the Stupids
promise to balance the ticket and put Jesus on as Vice President.The
Truth Party extremists remain intransigent and will not take the
Just as the
nimbus clouds appear to be gathering over the Stalin campaign, Pastor
Jack Agee gives it a boost by reminding his followers that Uncle
Joe set up Birobidzhan as a Jewish autonomous region in the Soviet
Union and has pledged increased support for Israel. Pastor Agee
seems miffed that he can't get any assurance that Jesus will support
Israel; in fact, he's been unable to find out Jesus' position on
uninterested in winning the campaign and has not made any speeches
or gone to any political rallies. When located by a reporter for
Mendax News Service and asked about his program, he says something
about his kingdom not being of this world and also something about
bearing witness to the truth; nothing very good for a soundbite.
As the campaign
is in the closing days, Stalin and Lucifer are polling within the
margin of error with each other and with Jesus as a spoiler. Should
good people vote for the good or for the lesser evil?
with permission from Different
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© 2011 Chris Sullivan