True Wisdom at Fifty Percent Off
by Richard Daughty
The Mogambu Guru
by Richard Daughty: The
Iron Law of Investing (ILOI)
It all started at breakfast, as seemingly
usual these days. One of the kids noticed, no doubt by the bizarre-yet-angry
way I was acting, that I was, perhaps, more out of sorts than usual.
So you can see that that morning had a lot of, for want of a better
word, the usual.
So I said "You would be grumpy,
too, if your brilliant investments in gold were cold and shivering
in the chilly silence in the lackluster gold market, where the glimmering
gold price hasnít gone anywhere for a year or more, depending on
how you measure it, or even bother to look it up because you are
too damned lazy and irresponsible to actually try to find out."
And, as part of my own personal hell,
my computer died, too, and all my Stupid Mogambo Crap (SMC) was
gone because I did not back up the data, like I should have, but
didnít, the reason for which was previously explained in the immediate
paragraph above, which, in case you are too lazy and irresponsible
to re-read the referenced paragraph, says that I am lazy and irresponsible.
Well, in my own defense, I admit that
to the casual observer the term "lazy and irresponsible"
seems wholly appropriate.
But a closer examination reveals Secret
Mogambo Reason Number Four (SMRNF), which is that I am merely, but
bravely, saving my Super Mogambo Brain (SMB) for bigger and better
things, such as writing my Stupid Mogambo Crap (SMC), so as to be
of helpful service to my fellow man, making us prosperous and putting
the country Ė and world! Ė on secure economic footing based on gold.
Maybe winning some kind of award for
my selfless devotion to humanity, hopefully one that has a large
I mean, it is obvious that the Austrian
School of economics is proved Ė again! -- to be the only true economic
theory in the universe, a profound fact found in deciphering the
ancient Sacred Mogambo Scrolls (SMS), left here long ago, in the
misty and mysterious past, by a strange visitor from outer space
imparting profound wisdom, but which surprisingly never caught on
as a basis for economic policy, despite it being obviously true
with cosmic significance, but which is a sorry reality that I ascribe
to the fact that the same "good economic sense" thing
can be found, free, at Mises.org, illustrious home of Austrian School
of economics in the good olí USA, whereas I charge The Big Bucks
(TBB) in what is just another obvious scam of mine that nobody ever
So my daughter helpfully says "Well,
why donít you just write the usual stuff you write, or maybe take
an English class to learn how to write, and then maybe your stuff
wonít be Stupid Mogambo Crap (SMC) anymore, and instead it could
be Intelligent Mogambo Crap (IMC)! Wouldnít that be nice?"
I was, of course, by nature of my
inherent stupidity and raging paranoia, probably DNA-related so
itís not my fault, instantly suspicious and cynical: I could see
right through her fatuous, flimsy facade, her charming, sunny optimism
and beaming smile that seemed a little, you know, too forced, you
know what I mean?
So I knew that she was putting on
an act, probably wanting something from me, like currency, handfuls
of it, or whining for me to please spend "time" with her,
and be a real "father and daddy" to her, and to please
be nice to her stupid friends and her retarded hoodlum boyfriends,
and all the rest of that mushy crap of fatherhood that I never really
got the hang of.
Since they say that "actions
speak louder than words," I thought Iíd test her phony-baloney
Pollyanna attitude by flicking a Cheerio at her and see how much
"happy, helpful crap" sheíll have then!
In my mind, I am already thinking
how to say, when it hits her (hopefully) on the forehead, "Hahaha!
He who laughs last laughs best!" and to, for some reason, probably
in retaliation for her treachery and falsity, and trying to get
on my good side for some nefarious reason, scornfully add loud,
mocking tones, as if I was, again, as I always do, rudely and insultingly
mocking anybody that stupidly thinks that roaring, terrifying inflation
in the prices of something, then some things, then everything, will
not occur, even though it always has, in all of history, when some
stupid government allowed, or more-often-than-not demanded, this
kind of "create crushing carloads of currency and credit"
kind of idiotic thing.
And so how can one NOT be buying gold,
especially given the current vogue of "create currency and
credit by an astounding, astonishing, preposterous 10% of GDP if
you want to, catastrophic inflation and certain ruination be damned!"?
And how could one NOT be buying gold,
silver and oil when the, as I said, "evil and compliant",
Federal Reserve is calamitously, colossally creating, both today
and continuously for the whole last quarter of a freaking century,
So Stinking Much (SSM) money that even newborn babies, whose first
glimpse of the scary, mystifying real world comes when it looks
out from its warm swaddling clothes (probably a disposable blanket
made with something recycled) at the massive, back-breaking, bankrupting
debt already accrued to them Ė at birth! Ė by a corrupt, low-IQ
government encumbering whole future generations, and all financed
by the aforementioned evil and compliant Federal Reserve creating
currency and credit out of nothing except a few computer bytes,
And how could they NOT be buying gold,
silver and oil when the evil and compliant Federal Reserve is now
"monetizing the debt" -- the biggest of all the Big. Bad
Economic Sins Of Monetary Policy (BBESOMP) Ė by creating the currency
and credit with which to buy new government debt? Insane!
Beyond insane! Itís diabolical!
Ben Bernanke is Satan! You heard it
Well, let me say that I donít really
believer that Ben Bernanke, chairman of the evil and compliant Federal
Reserve, is actually the devil, but it would sure explain a LOT
of things! Hahaha!
I can hear you muttering to yourself
"What in the hell is this Big Moron Mogambo (BMM) talking about?
This is stupid!"
Or perhaps you are thinking "Is
he ever going to get to the point? IS there a point to this Stupid
Mogambo Crap (SMC)? And did he ever hit her forehead when he used
his spoon to flick a Cheerio at her, all soggy with milk and perfect
for sticking to skin such as found on a forehead?"
The answer to the first question is
"Yes, I am going to get to the point!" and the answer
to the second question is "I am talking about you getting up
off your fat ass, go somewhere to buy some gold and silver (especially
silver!) to save your sorry butt from the financial and economic
ruination of the severely bloated, rotting carcass of Americaís
mal-invested economy when inflation in prices tears it apart through
pandemic suffering and starvation, and the bankruptcy of everybody
except people who own gold, silver and oil, all because the evil
(and compliant) Federal Reserve has created, and is creating, so
staggeringly much, so terrifyingly much, so catastrophically much,
currency and credit. THATíS what I am talking about!"
The answer to the third question is
"no", I did not flick a Cheerio at her because, before
I took the shot, I realized to my horror that I did not have enough
ammo to repulse a counterattack, as I only had a few Cheerios left
in my almost-empty bowl, whereas she had a lot! Milk, too!
The point is not that I am a brilliant
military tactician, but that, I mean, how can one NOT be buying
gold, silver and oil at these bargain prices, knowing that there
is a LOT of inflation in prices ahead? How can one person, especially
one of our countryís vaunted "economists", be so laughably
ill-educated, so impossibly stupid, so ridiculously inept as to
NOT be flogging the virtues of owning gold, and a gold-standard
dollar, with every breath?
Divining the human mind is, of course,
impossible, and lots of things are hideously complex.
But there IS one easy thing. It was
astonishingly revealed when the Sacred Mogambo Scrolls (SMS) were
deciphered. Basically, when the money supply is expanding, things
will cost more because there is nowhere else for the money to go
except into competing for the relatively static supply of goods
and services, driving up the prices of some things, then most things,
and then everything.
Also found in the SMS, you will be
interested to know, is the Mogambo Easy Way To Wealth (MEWTW), the
secrets of which I will reveal to you if you will merely, and discretely,
send me a thousand bucks, all of it in used, non-sequential hundred-dollar
bills, sent to me in a brown wrapper, with correct postage and no
return address, and addressed to "Occupant."
If you are still here, reading, wondering
"What in the hell was THAT?", it means either that you
recognize the obvious scam, or otherwise not interested in my fabulous
offer to impart to you, in exchange for a mere modicum of cash,
the Immortal Wisdom Of The Mogambo (IWOTM) and its Mogambo Easy
Way To Wealth (MEWTW).
In that case, it wonít do any harm
to tell you, anyway.
Buy gold, silver and oil. Why? Well,
The first two, gold and silver, because thatís the way it has always
worked out, in all of history, for the last 2,500 years, with particular
emphasis on "always."
The oil? Because the way things work
these days, without oil, nobody eats.
And what is oil worth in terms of
the devalued dollar, thanks to the evil and compliant Federal Reserve,
a corrupt institution that has already devalued the dollar by a
whopping 97% of its purchasing power since 1913 by creating so much
new money to act as lapdog lackey to the stupid, delusional, corrupt,
treacherous, lying, profligate, self-absorbed Congress borrowing
hideous amounts and spending us into well-deserved bankruptcy, and
thus desperately needing the cash that the Federal Reserve creates?
So buy gold, silver and oil! Itís
all just that easy! As is proved by the Mogambo Easy Way To Wealth
(MEWTW), now selling at a 50% discount price of only five hundred
bucks. Act now!
Itís all so easy, in fact, that you
will probably think to yourself "Whee! This investing stuff
IS easy! Iím glad I didnít waste five hundred clams by buying that
stupid Mogambo Easy Way To Wealth (MEWTW), even at "fifty percent
off", giving me another five hundred smackeroos in hand with
which to buy more gold and silver now! Whee!"
Richard Daughty (Mogambo
Guru) is general partner and COO for Smith Consultant Group, serving
the financial and medical communities, and the writer/publisher
of the Mogambo Guru economic newsletter, an avocational exercise
to better heap disrespect on those who desperately deserve it. The
Mogambo Guru is quoted frequently in Barrons, The
Daily Reckoning, and other fine publications. Visit
© 2013 Richard Daughty
Best of Richard Daughty