Stupendous Mogambo Advice (SMA)
by Richard Daughty
by Richard Daughty: Who’s
Really Affected By Rising Food Prices
I was recently
in a spirited conversation with a small crowd of people about how
my Stupid Mogambo Advice (SMA) to buy gold, silver and oil has not
been working very well recently, and various theories were advanced
as to why that should be the case.
participant in the conversation volunteered to me that perhaps the
reason is that I am stupid. He looked right at me and said "You're
a stupid, lying moron!", whereupon everyone agreed by cheering
opined that they have not become fabulously wealthy overnight because
I am a "Halfwitted loudmouth blowhard who doesn't know anything
about anything", which was followed by more cheering and clapping.
pronounced "The Mogambo is a big fat stupid loser! And he eats
like a pig! And he smells like a pig, too!" which was followed
by even more cheering and clapping, and more than a few "oink
oink" noises, which is not as charming as it sounds.
Now, I certainly
agree that while there is considerable merit to these carefully-considered
viewpoints, the truth is actually somewhere in between, namely that
all of these idiotic, hateful people can go to hell as far as I
In fact, no
sooner do I get the soothing words "All of you idiotic, hateful
people can go to hell as far as I am concerned!" out of my
mouth, than suddenly everybody wants to argue about that, too!
I mean, I can't
line of argument is that my "allowing" someone to go to
hell is not actually an explanation of WHY investing in gold, silver
and oil has been such a poor investment so that they did not become
fabulously wealthy overnight, as they had so hopefully and carefully
planned, and thus were not knee-deep in wicked debauchery and hedonistic
excesses of one titillating kind or another.
being the kindly gentleman and helpful teacher, I carefully explain
to them "You bunch of ugly, greedy, mental-defectives and borderline
psychopaths think that normal, expected fluctuations in the prices
of gold, silver and oil, especially with all of the attendant manipulative
shenanigans of various corrupt governments and corrupt regulators,
should not, somehow, affect you?"
They all looked
at me with their mouths hanging open. It was about here when I first
sensed that the conversational ball had been dropped by these mental-case
carbon blobs, so I continued "Before you answer, let me first
tell you losers that you make me laugh Hahahaha! at your Earthling
stupidity, and I have nothing but revulsion and scorn for you, not
only for your slovenly wardrobe, bad manners and ugly shoes, but
mostly for your even thinking that, somehow, normal volatilities
and statistical probabilities that affect everything, everywhere,
all the time, all through the universe and beyond, somehow don't
apply to you, personally, and that you alone! should be blessed
as the only exemption in the Whole Freaking Universe (WFU) from
the laws of probability."
I ended with
the usual caveat "Don't make me laugh and laugh and laugh until
I puke from too much laughing and I vomit on those shoes of yours
that that are, as previously referred to earlier in the paragraph,
I could see I was still not getting my point across. So, to change
the mood and wrap this up, I suddenly put a big grin on my face
and asked, in a perfect metaphor, "Was Rome destroyed in a
expected that the crowd would spontaneously erupt into a chorus
of delighted laughter and hearty cheers Bravo! Author! Bravo!
in admiration of my cleverly changing the phrase that defines
the gradual nature of things ("Rome was not built in a day")
into such a delicious bon mot that I should be instantly hailed
as the greatest writer since Mark Twain.
Alas, it was
not to be. And too bad, too, because if they had shown the least
bit of sycophantic fawning and slavish obeisance to me, or even
offered me a lousy slice of pizza, then I would have gladly informed
them that to be successful in investing, all you needed to do is
be on the correct side of the long-term trend.
As George Soros
is so famously to have said "The trick to investing success
is identify the trend whose premise is false, and then bet against
the world's central banks have been creating excess money and credit
to such a preposterous degree, for so preposterously long, that
they long ago passed the point where it was possible to stop creating
excess money and credit.
This is, obviously,
a trend whose premise ("There is such a thing as a free lunch,
and all the government has to do is print more money to pay for
it!") is as false as this phony-baloney smile on my face.
there is no free lunch, the lunch we have been providing for so
long at no cost to so many has been paid for, and will continue
to be paid for, in higher prices (price inflation), as all that
extra money enters into the free market ("I'll take one of
that and two of those!") and bids up the prices of things.
Thus the trend,
as it always has been and always will be when so much new money
is created, will be for more and more, and faster and faster, price
inflation, ending in economic collapse.
And the investments
to make to capitalize on this trend? I thought you'd never ask!
Gold, silver and oil!
And how much
to invest? I thought you'd never ask that, either! Dollar-cost-averaging!
Buy the same dollar-amount of gold and silver each month!
That way, you
will buy more gold and silver when prices are down, and less of
them when their prices are high. How could anything be more correct,
more timely, more timeless or more easy? It can't!
That is why
people, just as Junior Mogambo Rangers (JMRs) around the world,
who are happily buying gold, silver and oil to bet against the trend
whose premise is false, are known to giddily exclaim "Whee!
This investing stuff is easy!"
Richard Daughty (Mogambo
Guru) is general partner and COO for Smith Consultant Group, serving
the financial and medical communities, and the writer/publisher
of the Mogambo Guru economic newsletter, an avocational exercise
to better heap disrespect on those who desperately deserve it. The
Mogambo Guru is quoted frequently in Barrons, The
Daily Reckoning, and other fine publications. Visit
© 2012 Richard Daughty
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